Now What? Readjusting to Normal after a Life Event



There are milestones in life, good and bad, that can make a person’s daily “normal” change. Milestones, such as getting married, having a baby, experiencing a loved one’s death, or divorce, can take a little time to settle into a new schedule, especially after the excitement or sadness of the event. For example, when there is a wedding or new baby, houses are filled with people, noise, and action. As for a death, houses are filled with people, noise, and action, but in a different type of way. No matter what the life event is, there is a period of time, there is a hustle and bustle where the realization of a new normal hasn’t set in yet. However, when the action dies down, the reality does hit. Life has changed, and sometimes it takes a while to create a “new normal.” But, there are tips to try that will help ease the transition.

  • Try to make the changes few and simple. Whether it was a positive or negative change, it isn’t the right time to move to a new house, buy a new car, or relocate to another city. Familiar environments and routines will help a person feel comfortable and as if there is still a part of their old life intact.
  • Be kind to yourself, be patient, and allow yourself some grace. Whether you are a newlywed, new mother, or have just lost your mother, give yourself some time to realize things have changed, and that there probably will be mistakes and mishaps at the beginning. Take it in stride, and remember to take care of yourself. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, if needed. Most of the people who were there for you during the event will be there to help after the event has quieted down.
  • Remember that you aren’t alone, and life changes happen to most people. More often with changes dealing with death, financial setbacks, divorce, etc., it will take some time to get back into the swing of things and create that “new normal.” It is important to understand that these things also happen to others; not just you. Patience, grace, and kindness are keys to adjusting. Take a nap in the middle of the day, go for a walk, take your friends up on their offers to help, or build up the time you can work, if able, to get you into the new normal of your life.
  • Along with allowing yourself time to embrace the change, practice gratitude. At the end of each day, write down a few things you are thankful for, or who has helped you along the way. A gratitude journal is a good way to keep track of your daily reflections of thankfulness, especially during a difficult time. Writer Holly Lebowitz Rossi states in the article, “3 Ways to Adjust to a ‘New Normal,’” “becoming grateful for the moments of support does not minimize or take away the feelings of a situation. Being grateful shows that the horrible situation does not permanently crush and destroy our spirits.” For some people, there can be a sadness that comes once a happy event is over with, but think about the new adventure that is set before you. For example, even though the wedding is over, you have years of happiness to come with your marriage.
  • Reflect on the memories and pictures of the people and the event. Laugh about the mistakes, reminiscence about the special moments, and always hold those times close. The power of some of these life events is that you’ll still remember them years later.
  • If you have a family member or friend going through a life event, be there for them. Reach out to see if they need anything or anyone to be there; just be aware that it is important to not make them feel pressured, or as if they have to do anything. Letting a person know they have a family member or friend there for them whenever and for whatever is enough.

Some people have more than others, but life events and changes happen to us all. Take your time to build a new schedule, and don’t be afraid to readjust where you see fit.

 


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